MALICE IN PLUNDER-LAND
By Charlie Hall

It was a long long time ago
When Tony Freitus did
Get annoyed about a lease
Where he'd put in a bid

Though Tony had the lowest price
Downtown said, No you lost
You've got to get an envelope
Of "Thank-yous" to the Boss

Thank-yous? No way, Tony thought
I will not play this game
I'm going to the FBI-
Revenge is what's my aim

The operation took a name
By which it could be known.
"We'll name it after Buddy's scalp."
And thus borne 'Plunder Dome'

So over many, many months
Tony paid some dough
To unsuspecting patsies-
On his Candid Camera Show

He soon became friends with the guys
On the Board of Tax
And found out with a little gift
Tax bills could be relaxed

Joe Pannone would take the money
He 'claimed' for the Mayor
But it's final resting place-
Nobody knew quite where.

And there was also David Ead
Who finally did come clean
When learned he did his laundering
Through a Coke Machine

The Mayor's indictment finally came
The press, they gathered quick
He tried to hold it up for them
But it was way too thick

"97 pages long
But here you'll find no racket
There's no crime or kickbacks here
And no stains on this jacket!

These charges are ficticious!
And I am barely phased
The FBI? Hey, I'm more scared
Of really windy days!"

Then a secret tape was shown
By prosecutor Rose
Buddy muttered, "What's wrong Rich,
Was your Blockbuster closed?

12 months later Buddy got
His lawyer on the case
Warning prosecuters they'll have
Egg-bert on their face

April 17th, 02
Judge Torres said, "Let's go!"
(He'd become the state's most well-known judge
...Next to Frank Caprio)

Arlene, Dan, Jack, and a couple of Jims,
New York and Boston press,
Jeff and Lou and Walt and Gene.
And all the Journal's best

Would spew their views and thoughts on air
Most musing without worry
Some even thought themselves as stars
(Charlie) Baskt-ing in their glory

Yes, some press got way too involved
One told some tasteless joke,
One guy got banned, and one received
A tape from his 'Deep Throat'

Don Imus came to Providence
"Hey, Mayor your hair went gray!"
Buddy chuckled, "My hair Don
Can change shades every day!"

Each day the cameras clicked and aimed
The circus never lagged
And Buddy'd be about to bust
But Torres had him gagged

For three months we heard witnesses
Telling what they know
Many ending up with noses
Like Pinnochio

Those who ran the tow trucks
To the person would insist
That they all gave quite willingly
To stay put on the List.

The strict RI campaign laws
To this group weren't a threat
They gave the mayor checks that were from
Their friends, their kids, a pet

Then there was that building
That was rented to the schools.
Although a former body shop-
The kids thought it so cool!

It was trashed and dirty
With bad fumes one should not whiff
But Ed said, Hey, it's nothing
That those school kids haven't sniffed"

We heard about the mystery bribe:
A mom paid that would yield
A job for her quite troubled son
Where he would wear a shield

The son, though didn't make it through
"Hey," mom yelled, "that's a jip
I want that cash returned to me!"
Alas, she had no slip.

It seemed the whole department now
Was wrought with spreading cancers
But Chief Prignano worried not-
Yes, he had all the answers!

Now to Club University
The state's 'cream' all would go
But when Cianci tried to join
With clenched jaws they said "No."

So when members asked to renovate
And permits were their need
Buddy shared with them the words
That everyone should heed:

"The toe that you step on today
May one day cause you sorrow
If it's connected to the ass
You have to kiss tomorrow."

On video we saw the tapes
Of Frankie C's charades
Taking secret kickbacks
We guess- for hearing aids


Finally after ten long weeks
Arguments began
With no defendants opting first
To tell all from the stand

For 9 days 16 jurors met
Offering little clue
As the press each day would search
For any interview



And then with little warning
The jury said 'we're done'
Acquitting Mayor Cianci
On all his countsbut one

With elections looming close
Buddy pondered, then
Suprising all Rhode Island
Said "I will not run again."

He shuddered to believe the truth
That no more he'd be boss.
"Who'll run the town and clown around?
Who will stir my sauce?"

Judge Torres sentenced Buddy
To five years in the Pen
Giving him time to report
December 6th was when

And Buddy thought, "Well thank you Judge
If I don't have to go-
Then while my lawyers handle briefs
I'll go on radio!"

Many picked on PRO-AM
"What you've done is perversion!"
But Buddy laughed- 'cause luckily
There was a new diversion

Harwood was the topic that
The whole state now was on
Buddy, looked up "Thank you God
But mostly thank you John!"

So here is where we'll finish this-
There's no end to reveal
Because as most folks would admit
This Mayor has got 'appeal'

It'd be so sad if prison's where
Our Buddy's story ends.
Although at least might enjoy
Seeing some old friends

To end, no matter what you think
Of this legend with great flare
You know some how, some way, some time
He'll once again be Mayor!

THE END..maybe.